Look Who's Talking!
by chicgeekitten
Summary: Mercedes Jones is having a baby! Alone. Her life has been all sorts of crazy and after meeting Sam Evans, it only gets crazier. Based on the movie "Look who's Talking"
1. Chapter 1

**This is based on the movie "Look who's talking". After making a careful decision, Mercedes Jones is nine months pregnant. Her and her friend made a pact to bring a child into the world with his sperm donation. Unfortunately, things spun out of control between them and her friend was no longer being supportive. Mercedes Jones was very pregnant and very alone. I do not own Glee…If I did, I'd be filthy rich and I'd jump into a bunch of money like in duck tales except it wouldn't be gold coins because that would hurt and…I'm just gonna stop now. enjoy! The continuation of this fic will be determined based on how much you guys like it! So please review! Yay! **

Mercedes slammed the car door and slowly slid down the back seat. The driver stared at her from the mirror and she arched her eyebrows. "Can I help you?" She asked sarcastically.

The driver sighed, trying to keep his patience with the nasty customer. "Uh I need to know where you're going lady!"

Mercedes hissed at the pain in her abdomen and bent over. "Lexington Hospital! "She yelled while holding on to the driver's seat. "Hey, lady, are you alright?" the driver asked worried for the stranger in his backseat.

"My name is Mercedes not lady! owww! Dammit! The baby is coming! I AM NOT ALRIGHT!" Mercedes yelled.

"Oh. OH! OH MY GOD! Okay, I'm on it!" The driver started the car and went speed racer on everyone's ass. "Just breathe. Follow me and breathe." The driver imitated the breathing he once saw in a movie. "I'm Sam by the way!" He grinned into the mirror and his smile disappeared as soon as he realized Mercedes wasn't paying attention.

Mercedes was in too much pain. "Just, hurry! Please. This baby wants out!"

"SHIT! Okay, don't panic, Sam. It's just a baby. That will possibly be born in your car. Nope, nothing to worry about." The driver weaved in and out of traffic and recklessly parked in the hospital's no parking zone.

"Hey! You can't park here!" The security guard yelled.

"MY ASS! She's having a baby!" Sam helped Mercedes out of his car and rushed her into the emergency room.

The nurses stood up as soon as they saw Mercedes and Sam.

"You! Get a wheelchair!" A nurse ordered one of the assistants. The younger man ran to get a wheelchair and quickly assisted Mercedes into it.

Sam nervously approached her. "Hey, Mercedes, right? Don't worry about the fare. Its on the house." He grinned. "So do you need me to call your husband or something?"

Mercedes looked up at the man. He had a warm smile but was obviously too nervous to stick around. "No husband. It's okay, you can go. Thanks. I owe you."

Sam gave Mercedes a confused look. "No husband? So your life partner then?"

The nurse started wheeling Mercedes and Sam followed. Mercedes laughed. "Life partner? No. I'm alone on this journey, kid."

Kid? Sam blinked his eyes and looked offended. "You're like what? 3 years older than me?"

Mercedes gave Sam an incredulous look. "Why are you still following me?"

"I have a thing for pregnant girls?" Big pause. "It was a joke."

Although Sam did think Mercedes was hot he wasn't going to hit on her a few hours before she brings a kid to the world. Yeah, that'll work. I know I just met you, and this is crazy, you're really pregnant, but call me maybe?

Mercedes chuckled. "Okay Sam, its official, you're all types of crazy"

The nurse wheeled Mercedes into her brand new room and Sam stayed behind. He waved goodbye and gave her a thumbs up. A freaking thumbs up. Mercedes smiled back and the door was closed by the doctor.

Sam shook his head and made his way to his possible $250 parking ticket. It was well worth it, he thought.

The nurse stopped him "where are you going? It's important that the baby's daddy stays. Here, put this on. I'll bring you into the delivery room" the nurses handed Sam some scrubs and a mask. "But…I'm…"

The nurse stopped him "none of that. No nerves allowed. Now suit up Nemo!"

The doctor peeked out of the room. "Nurse Lopez? We need you for the epidural"

The Nurse took one final look at Sam. "On! Let's go!" She walked in to assist the doctor. Sam shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to put the scrubs over his clothes. He walked into the room and Mercedes was lying on the bed, completely delirious.

"Ms. Jones? Mr. Jones is here, sweetheart." The nurse said motioning Sam to hold Mercedes hand. He did what he was told.

Mercedes looked up at Sam "hey daddy"

Sam laughed under his mask. "I'm not your daddy"

The doctor chuckled "that's the drugs. They must be working." He looked over to Mercedes "that's your husband, Mercedes. Now I'm gonna need you to push as hard as you can"

Sam wanted to crawl into a hole from embarrassment. Mercedes looked up at the blonde holding her hand "I don't have a husband!"

The doctor and nurse laughed.

Nurse Lopez "Oh Nemo! You're in the dog house. She don't even know you exist!"

Everyone laughed but Sam and Mercedes. Mercedes tightened her grip on Sam and Sam almost fell over. "God dammit woman!"

The doctor kept encouraging Mercedes and stopped to look up. "Maybe that's why you're in the dog house!"

The room roared with laughter once more and Sam was about to say something when suddenly the doctor spoke again. "Mercedes! I'm going to need one more push. I can see its head! Mr. Jones, come and look".

Sam's eyes widened. This was some freaky Friday shit. Afraid to blow his cover, he walked over to Mercedes's vagina. Yes, Mercedes' vagina. "Holy shit!" Sam almost fell over once more but he remained strong for the complete stranger that was screaming and pushing. "You got it, Mercedes. One more girl!" He screamed, watching the miracle of life before him"

Mercedes did as she was instructed but was very frustrated with the stranger in the mask. "Who the heeelll aree youuuuu ohhhhhhhhh!"

With that, the cries of a new born baby filled the room and Sam's eyes filled with tears as it the baby was cleaned. "It's a boy! A real boy!"

"Okay Mr. Jones, this isn't Pinocchio" Sam glared at the nurse "my name is Sam Evans. Not Jones."

The nurse rolled her eyes and held the now clean baby. "Congratulations Mr. Evans." The nurse passed the baby to Sam. "But I'm not the…oh my God, he's gorgeous. Mercedes! He has your eyes!" Sam took the baby in his arms and showed the baby to Mercedes.

Mercedes, still high off the drugs, admired her new baby and then looked at the man before her again. "Okay seriously, who the hell are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Whoo hoo! So I decided to keep this fic going! I love it! Lol Anyway, anything bolded and in italics is the baby talking…so I guess the baby is talking now. Baby doesn't own Glee but if baby did, he'd have a lot of neat gadgets and he'd rule the world like Stewie…only better! **_

_**Anyway, baby says thank you for the reviews! Keep them coming! Goo goo gaga and all that jazz! **_

Sam kept nodding off and his neck was killing him. He groaned and found a more comfortable position. He closed his eyes and dozed off.

"HELP! HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Sam shot up and screamed. "AHHH! WHAT? ARE YOU OK? DOES YOUR UTERUS HURT? DO YOU NEED ICE? I CAN GET YOU A COOKIE! DO YOU WANT A COOKIE?" Sam ran over to Mercedes's bedside.

She grabbed the covers and covered herself. "What? What the hell? What are you doing here? You're my cab driver!"

Sam rubbed his neck. "Yes. Great observation."

He was a bit annoyed at being woken up like the world was over. Nurse Lopez ran in. "Is everything, okay? Mick Jagger, have you been bothering my patient?"

Sam chuckled sarcastically. "HA HA! No! She's my wife! Why would I bother her? Just a bad nightmare! Thank you nurse Lopez!" The irritated rolled her eyes and left the room.

Mercedes arched her eyebrows and glared at Sam. "Your wife? What the hell is going on?"

Sam laughed and fluffed Mercedes's pillows.

"Stop that! I need an explanation!" Mercedes said annoyed at the crazy blonde.

"I pretended to be your husband so I can stay here. You had a rough labor. I just wanted to make sure you and Noah were alright!"

Mercedes squinted her eyes and blinked several times. "Noah? Who the hell is Noah?"

"Our…well YOUR son." Sam said flashing his smile.

Mercedes looked under her covers and realized her bump was gone. "My son? My son! Oh my God! I have a son!"

"Wow, those drugs are good aren't they?" Sam teased.

"Shut up! I need to see my son and why did you call him Noah?"

"I named him Noah after my brother. Well, half-brother. Same mom, different dads. I'm Evan's he's Puckerman. We call him Puck for short. He's a good guy. Real solid at fixing cars. Hey! Maybe he can fix your chevy!"

Mercedes' mouth was wide open. She had no idea what was going on but Sam was scaring her. "How do you know about my Chevy?"

"You told me last night. While you were drugged up. You're pretty cool when you're high off your rocker! Less tense! Anyway, I was singing to Noah and you were harmonizing. It was pretty cool. You're a much nicer wife when you're high as a kite…"

"oh my God! I've gone crazy. I've lost my mind." Mercedes grabbed her head. "Where is my son?"

"Noah. His name is Noah." Sam corrected Mercedes. " I'll go get him if you want."

Mercedes paused and glared at Sam. "Why would YOU name my child? He's not yours to name!"

"You were going to name him Chiquita Banana!" Sam yelled.

"I was not!" Mercedes crossed her arms.

"Uh, yeah you were. I took the paper away from Nurse Lopez before you signed off on it. Chiquita Banana? Really?"

Mercedes breathed in and exhaled slowly. "Just go get me my son…Noah…before I throw something really hard at you."

Sam laughed. "Yep, definitely nicer under the influence of drugs."

Sam opened the door and looked back. "I'll be back soon, darling!" Sam winked at Mercedes and left the room.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Great! My child's name is Noah. Not like there's anything wrong with Noah. I mean, it's kind of nice but I didn't even get to pick his name!" She groaned and sat up. She got up and walked over to the small dresser in the room. Inside the dresser there was a mirror. She looked into it and started poking her face. "Hottie is a little crazy but not too bad to look at and look at you. You look…"

"Beautiful"

Mercedes turned around and placed the mirror on the dresser. "What the hell are you doing here, Finn?"

Finn Hudson stood before Mercedes with flowers in his hands. He extended them towards her and she crossed her arms. "Orchids. Your favorites."

"Finn, seriously what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see my son!" Finn replied.

"He's not your son, Finn." Mercedes climbed back in bed.

"Uh…I believe he is. My sperm met your egg and created a beautiful baby boy."

"No! You were just a sperm donation!" Mercedes yelled angrily.

"'Cede don't do this. This should be the happiest day of our life!"

"Yeah, that's great. Except you left me when I was 5 months pregnant. You freaked out Finn!"

"What did you want me to do? My parents were asking questions. They didn't understand our little arrangement and Rachel came back…"

"Rachel! Always Rachel! And you couldn't be a man and tell your parents the truth? We're best friends who wanted to have a baby together! That's all! People do it all the time!"

"Yeah, except they don't, Mercedes! We're not like everyone else! Remember? And you know damn well things were getting out of control! We're not JUST friends! You're the mother of my child!"

"That we didn't even have sex to conceive! Get over it!" Mercedes yelled louder.

"BUT WE DID HAVE SEX! HOT, STEAMY, AMAZING SEX!" Finn yelled even louder.

"Yes! Very good! After I was already pregnant because we let feelings in the way and then you magically disappeared once Rachel and her magical vagina came back in your life!"

Finn threw his hands up. "What do you want me to do, Mercedes? I can't just be your friend!"

"Then why the hell would you agree to have Noah?" Mercedes was furious. She fought back tears.

"Noah? His name is Noah?"

"Yes! Noah. And he's beautiful."

"SO he looks like you?" Finn replied.

"Stop that, Finn. Please. You left me. Remember that."

There was a knock on the door and Mercedes looked over Finn. "Come in!" She yelled.

Sam walked in cooing at the small bundle of joy. "I bring to you. Mr. Noah Jones!" Sam looked up and saw the man in the three piece suit. "Hello. I'm Sam Evans."

Finn ignored Sam and walked over to look at the baby. "Noah? Hey baby boy."

The baby kept looking at Sam. "_**Who the hell is this bozo?"**_

Finn was "baby talking" with Noah. "Hello little one. Welcome to the world. I'm going to teach you all about crunching numbers!"

"_**What does that mean? Hey dad! What does that mean?" **_The baby kept looking at Sam and this frustrated Finn.

"Who are you, anyway?" Finn asked in a nasty tone.

Mercedes smiled and stood up to take Noah from Sam. "He's my boyfriend. Noah's new daddy."

Sam's eyes widened.

Mercedes smiled at Noah and kissed his forehead. "Hey baby. Mommy was a little crazy last night, huh?"

"_**Yeah! But you were a whole lot of fun! Sing that song again with daddy!" **_

Mercedes held the baby closer and looked over to Finn. "I think we're done, Finn."

Sam couldn't speak. He had been downgraded from husband to boyfriend but it was still a little too crazy. Even for him. He looked over to Mercedes and she pleaded with him with her eyes. Sam knew she needed his help. Why he felt the need to give it to her was beyond him but he did anyway.

"Yeah, Finn. My girlfriend and I need to feed the baby now. Well, she needs to feed him and I get to look. Because I'm her boyfriend and I can."

Finn arched his eyebrows. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"_**Seriously, who is that bozo?"**_

_**Eh? You expected that and you know it! Especially if you know me! lol! So…whatcha think? Reviews are my crack!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Heeeeyyy! So Thanks for the awesome reviews! Keep them coming! I see you guys subscribing! Leave me some love! Hehe! **_

Finn walked over to Noah and kissed his forehead. _**"Stranger Alert! Stranger Alert! Red flag! Red flag! Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" **_Noah started crying and Mercedes held him closer.

"Okay, little guy. Don't worry; I'll stop by to visit this weekend." Finn looked up to Mercedes and she turned away. "Please answer my phone calls." Finn didn't acknowledge Sam again and left the room.

The room was silent. All except for baby Noah. He was cooing and moving his legs.

Sam smiled at the baby and sat next to Mercedes on a spot on her bed. She looked at him in disbelief. She hardly knew this guy and he was so comfortable with her and Noah. Sam traced his finger on Noah's chin.

"He loves this. Watch!" Sam said tenderly. Mercedes didn't question it. She looked at Noah and he was giggling. _**"Oh dad, you're such a comedian!" **_

Mercedes smiled at her baby and looked over to Sam. He was sitting next to her, laughing with Noah. She felt her heart melt for the crazy blonde. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Sam turned his face and looked into Mercedes' brown eyes. Her cheeks flushed.

"I figured you deserved a thank you." Mercedes said batting her lashes shyly. Was she flirting with her cab driver? Sam blushed. The two stared at each other. _**"Hey! Lovebirds! We don't have all day! Kiss already!" **_

"Alright, Ms. Jones! You guys are outta here!" Nurse Lopez burst into the hospital room. "Mr. Evans, I'm going to need you to sign off on a few papers. Ms. Jones, we have some diapers and formula that we would like to send you home with. Maybe Mr. Evans can go get the car?"

Sam smacked his face and stood up. "My car!" He looked over to Mercedes and kissed her cheek. "I gotta go. I mean, I'll be right back. Don't lose that thought! Nurse Lopez, I'll sign whatever you need when I get back!" He looked down to Noah and kissed his forehead. Noah smiled. "I'll be right back, promise. We'll sing again, later." Noah kicked his legs and Mercedes noticed how much he liked Sam. _**"Okay, dad. Don't take forever. I really don't know how long forever is but it seems like a long time." **_

Sam ran out of the room as Nurse Lopez shook her head. "That husband of yours sure is something. Pretty, but insane." The nurse walked over to the door and yelled out for an assistant. "Fabray? I need you." A pretty blonde Nurse's assistant walked in and smiled at Mercedes.

"Can you please take Noah back to the nursery and get him ready to go home? I'm going to remove Ms. Jones' IV and discuss some home care." Nurse Lopez took the baby from Mercedes and handed him to Ms. Fabray.

"Okay, baby Noah, you're coming with me. Let's get you ready for the real world!"

"_**Hubba Hubba!"**_

The Nurse's assistant left the room with Noah and Mercedes pouted. "Aww, stop that. You have a whole life time to spend with him! That is if you can pry him from the hands of Mr. Evans!" Nurse Lopez chuckled as she removed Mercedes' IV line.

Mercedes wanted to correct the nurse but she was exhausted and desperately needed to be discharged.

****

"I owe you big time!" Sam was bowing his head, with his hands on hips, trying to catch his breath. "My wife, I mean my girlfriend, I mean, the lady I'm kinda into is in there with an amazing little boy and I have to take them home! I seriously, expected to find a boot on my car!" Sam placed his hand on the security guard's shoulder. "I am so sorry I yelled at you."

The security guard chuckled. "Mr. Evans, its fine. Go back to your wife, girlfriend, lady you're kinda into."

Sam grabbed the medium built man into an embrace and picked him up off his feet. "Thank you."

Sam climbed into his car and drove it from the emergency room entrance to the main entrance. He parked it in the parking lot and ran back inside.

"Its okay, Evans. Be cool. So, you really like this woman and her son. No problem. You're going to walk in there, Flash your best smile and ask her out. But first drive her home. Maybe get her some flowers. And a card. Maybe some M&M's." Sam stopped at the gift shop and purchased a bouquet of flowers, a "Congratulations, it's a boy!" greeting card and a king size bag of M&M's.

He strutted down the halls of the hospital sporting a huge grin. It isn't everyday you meet someone like Mercedes. She was beautiful, she was funny, and she was smart. Sam didn't know too much about her but he knew he liked her and was willing to explore what the butterflies in his stomach meant. He passed by the nursery and noticed a nurse putting clothes on Noah. Sam put his hand against the glass and smiled. The nurse noticed Sam and picked Noah up for him to see. Sam smiled and waved at the baby.

"I don't know what it is about you, Noah, but you're the greatest thing that has happened to me." Sam said to himself. He kept walking to Mercedes' room and took a deep breath. He knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Mercedes said softly. Sam closed his eyes and shook his nerves. He opened the door and his jaw dropped. Mercedes was sitting in a wheelchair with balloons and flowers, wearing a pretty purple dress, a cardigan and flats. Her hair was in a bun and she had done her make up.

"Hey. Thought you ran away for a second." Mercedes smiled and Sam's butterflies started up again.

"You look beautiful, Mercedes. I umm…I come bearing gifts!" Sam extended the bouquet of flowers, the card, and the M&M's to Mercedes. She giggled at the M&M's, smelled the flowers and opened the card.

"To my "wife" laughing out loud. Babies are a wonderful thing. They bring so much joy to one's life. I should know, my mother adores me! I know you hardly know me and that Finn guy seems like a complete asshole, but maybe, after you get better, you, me and Noah can go somewhere. Like on a date. Anyway, I'm not so great with words. I promise I'm better with actions. Love, Sam."

Mercedes couldn't stop from cheesing. She looked up at Sam. "So, how much to Lincoln and First?"

Sam smiled, walked behind her wheelchair and started pushing. "On the house, milady."

"You know, you'll never make money that way…" She looked back at Sam.

"I'm not really looking to make money right now." Sam pushed her out of the room and met with Nurse Lopez. She was carrying baby Noah.

"I'll walk with you guys to the car."

"Santana gave Noah a car seat. That was very nice of her." Mercedes said to Sam

"Who's Santana?" Sam asked.

"I mean, Nurse Lopez!" Mercedes winked at Santana.

Santana smiled and winked back. Sam looked at the two women suspiciously.

"It's nothing. Fabray and I split it. Noah, here is our favorite little munchkin."

"_**And you two are my favorite little nurses!"**_

They walked to the car, positioned the car seat and placed the baby inside. Mercedes climbed in next to Noah.

"I really appreciate everything." Mercedes smiled and waved at the nurses.

"Mercedes, remember what I said! Oh and don't forget your apt. with Dr. Foster. See you in a week in the New Hyde Park office!"

Santana closed the door and fanned her eyes.

"It's just my allergies!" She turned around to find her staff staring. "What are you looking at? Back to work!"

She followed her frowning staff and Mercedes chuckled.

Sam looked at her from the mirror and smiled. "Lincoln and First is our next stop! All systems go!" Sam made noises as if he were driving a race car and it made Mercedes laugh. He loved being the reason why she was laughing. She had been so tense earlier that day, she needed a good laugh. He stopped at a red light and noticed Mercedes was talking to Noah.

"You're going to love your room. It has choo choo trains and a swing! Mommy is going to take care of you Noah. I promise."

Sam admired her every move. He grinned when she blew raspberries into Noah's stomach. Mercedes looked up and caught Sam staring at her.

"Green light." She said softly.

Sam looked up and blushed. "Oh, sorry."

He drove quietly the whole way to Mercedes' apartment.

"This is it!" Mercedes said overly enthusiastic. She wanted the baby to know this was a happy place.

Sam got out of the car and walked over to Mercedes passenger side. "Here, let me get Noah." He picked the baby up and helped Mercedes with his other hand.

"You're really good at that. Holding him." Mercedes said to Sam.

"Oh. Well, I helped raised my two siblings. So, I'm pretty good with kids. That's why I drive this cab. Saving up money to go back to school and get my degree in education."

Mercedes did not expect that. "Wow, that's really honorable, Sam."

"Well you know, I believe the children are the future…teach them well and let them lead the way"

Mercedes laughed and shook her head. "You're so crazy, Sam."

"_**Speak for yourself, mommy. Dad's a genius!" **_

"So, you can come in, if you want. I haven't had the chance to get any groceries but maybe I can order in some Pizza. I mean, if you're not busy."

Sam looked pensive. "I have to check my schedule."

"No, that's okay. I understand." Mercedes replied.

"Yeah, I'm free." Sam said immediately following.

Mercedes laughed. "Your schedule, huh?"

"Well, I penciled you in." Sam grinned and followed Mercedes inside.

"You know, I know nothing about you. You can be a serial killer for all I know!" Mercedes said as she walked up the stairs to her three story apartment.

"A serial killer that has seen your lady parts and helped you give birth!" Sam said nonchalantly.

Mercedes froze on the stairs and looked back. "I'm sorry?"

Sam gulped. "Maybe we should save that for a later conversation."

Mercedes would normally confront Sam if he was anyone else but she was lonely and he was a nice change to her hectic life. "Okay, but we're talking about it."

"As long as we talk about how there's a guy named Finn who thinks I'm your boyfriend."

Mercedes opened her door. "Deal."

"And how it seems like you know Nurse Santana."

Mercedes turned around. "Why? You interested?"

"Uh, nooo…she's a little mean."

Mercedes laughed. "Well good, you're not her type."

Mercedes dropped everything and took Noah from Sam.

"Okay, Noah...welcome home!

"_**Finally! My diaper was starting to make imprints!"**_

Sam looked around and nodded his head approvingly. "Nice place."

"Thanks. I just got it a few months ago. With…Finn. He moved out shortly after."

Mercedes walked into one of the bedrooms and opened it. "You can make yourself comfortable. I'm going to change Noah." She yelled from the other room.

"So, Finn…he's an ex?"

Mercedes gently removed Noah's pants and his diaper. "P U baby! Time for a change!"

"_**No kidding. A little bit longer and I would have lost sensation in my butt!" **_

"Ex? Well, you can say that!" Mercedes yelled as she cleaned Noah.

Sam sat on her couch and kept looking around. "Is he Noah's…dad?"

Mercedes froze and tickled Noah's tummy. She left him on the crib and walked out of room.

"No! Finn is not Noah's dad! Noah has no dad! Just me!" Mercedes yelled and Sam stood up, concerned.

"Hey…okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to strike a nerve. Come here." Sam hugged Mercedes and massaged her head. "Listen, do you have tea? I'll make you some tea and we can talk about whatever you want. I'll help you watch Noah. You can take a nap, relax. You can trust me." Sam massaged her arms.

Mercedes looked up to his green eyes. "You're really, really nice…you know that?"

Sam smiled. "It's the southern gentleman in me."

Noah started crying in the other room and they ran over to him.

"Sorry baby!" Mercedes grabbed a clean diaper. "Sam, pass me the baby powder."

Sam looked around and found the Johnson and Johnson's baby powder. He passed it over to Mercedes.

"_**Hey guys, I'm all for free balling but its December and I'm kinda freezing!" **_

Mercedes placed the diaper on Noah and noticed he was dozing off.

Sam whispered. "Let him sleep for a little. He'll probably wake up in a few minutes. Enjoy the quiet."

He grabbed Mercedes' hand and walked over to the living room.

She climbed onto her love seat and removed her flats. "Finn's his father." She said softly.

Sam sat on the couch adjacent to hers. "I figured as much."

Mercedes smiled. "Why do I feel compelled to tell you things?"

"Because I'm handsome and awesome?" Sam got up again and climbed next to her on the love seat.

"I'm also an awesome listener."

Mercedes felt something in her stomach. She wasn't quite sure what it was but it was new and it felt great. "Well, Finn and I are…_were_ best friends. We've known each other since first grade. Everyone thought we'd end up together. Married, with kids, the big house, everything. Every time one was ready to date the other, things got tricky. School got in the way. We were both very ambitious. Our parents wanted us to get married and it just never happened. We both work got married alright…to our jobs. He's a CPA for Goldman Sachs and I'm a professional buyer for celebrities…"

Sam was impressed. "So you shop for famous people?"

"Yep. Kim Kardshian is my biggest client. Anyway, all of our friends were falling in love, getting married, having kids. My friend Tina married her high school sweetheart, Mike. We used to double date! We couldn't figure out where we went wrong. Until one day, we realized how bad things had gotten. All he did was work and argue with one of his many conquests. He was just getting out of a bad relationship with this girl, Rachel. I was just getting out of a crazy relationship with my friend Blaine" She paused and laughed. "I'm not so lucky in love. You see, Blaine turned out to be gay. He confessed to being in love with my personal assistant, Kurt."

Sam took a deep breath. "Wow. Maybe I should get the tea ready…"

He stood up and walked to her kitchen. "I'm all ears."

"We would always fall back on each other. He was my rock and I was his. So, we decided to have a baby together." Mercedes turned on the couch so she was facing Sam in the kitchen. "The mugs are in the top cupboard."

Sam followed her instructions and took out two mugs. "And so what happened? Just like that? You decided; hey right now would be a good time to have a baby."

Mercedes arched her eyebrows. "Well, when you say it like that…"

Sam found the tea bags in the same cupboard and turned around to face Mercedes. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did."

"No, it's okay. I know, it sounds crazy. Finn and I thought we were in a point of our lives where we were mature enough to raise a child. No romantic feelings involved. So, instead of conceiving Noah, naturally, we sought out the help of a professional."

Sam poured the hot water into the mugs. " So, it was a sperm donation?"

"Yes. But eventually, feelings did get in the way. It's hard to not fall in love with Finn. He in a way, is perfect. Once we started looking for things for the baby, our respect for each other turned into something else. His parents never understood our little arrangement and urged Finn to marry me. He asked me and I said yes…"

Sam turned around and gave her a mug. "So…he's your fiancé?"

"Ex….but it was all a sham. A complete mess. On the day of my baby shower, Blaine found him making out with Rachel in his car."

"Oh my God…"

"Yep…"

"You're still friends with your ex?"

Mercedes laughed. "Be serious, Sam."

Sam smiled. "Sorry. So, Blaine found the son of a bitch with Rachel. Sorry, I don't like him already."

Mercedes sipped her tea. "Yep. Broke my heart. Blaine over heard him tell Rachel he was leaving me as soon as the baby shower was over. She'd have nothing to worry about."

Sam placed his mug on the coffee table in front of the love seat and sat next to Mercedes. "What an asshole."

"Yep."

"So, what does he want now?"

"I guess he thinks he can just crawl back into my life but things are different now. Besides, I can fend for myself." Mercedes replied.

Sam breathed in and exhaled. " Don't hate me...okay? Noah needs his dad, Mercedes."

Mercedes placed her mug on the coffee table next to Sam's. "Noah needs a healthy environment. Finn is not his dad. He was just a sperm donation."

"But he's more than that…you know that's true." Sam bowed his head to look into her eyes. "Trust me; I'm on your side."

"His parents called me this morning, before leaving the hospital. They want Finn to marry me. It's the only reason why he's back, Sam. I am not going to be a part of a sham."

Sam traced his finger on Mercedes' cheek. "You're not marrying Finn. We'll get through this."

The two looked at each other intensely until Noah started crying.

"_**What does a guy have to do to get some formula? Why am I alone? Oh no! Mommy! Daddy! What is this place?" **_

Mercedes and Sam ran into the room.

"Feeding time, huh?" Mercedes smiled and picked up her baby. "Do you mind, Sam?"

Sam covered his eyes. "I know when I'm not wanted. I'll be in the living room. We can continue our little chat."

Sam walked back into the living room and sat on the couch. He couldn't believe everything Mercedes had told him. He had just met this woman and she was already taking over his heart. The doorbell rang and Sam looked back. "Want me to get that?"

Mercedes yelled from the room. "Please?"

Sam walked over to the door and opened it. It was the three piece suit, holding a giant stuffed giraffe and flashing a stupid smiled.

Sam crossed his arms and stood in the doorway. "We don't want any." He said as he tried closing the door. Finn stopped the door from closing and laughed.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or who you think you are. I assure you, you can try to slam this door on me or fight me for Mercedes' honor or whatever but Mercedes is my girl. She always has been. You're just another random."

"Random?" Sam asked.

"Yes, another random guy in her life who thinks he knows what she wants. I'm the only man for her and judging by looking at you, I'm a better choice. Now if you excuse me, I would like to see my son."

Sam laughed. "Ladies first."

Sam made way for Finn and Finn rolled his eyes. Sam closed the door behind him.

"Who is it?" Mercedes yelled from the bedroom.

"Honey, it's the tool from this morning!" Sam laughed.

Finn turned around and chuckled. "Let me guess…garbage man? No wait, janitor?"

Sam clenched his jaw "Cab driver…extraordinaire"

Finn laughed. "You're a joke. So you're broke is what you're telling me?"

"Listen Fancy pants, I'm so close to decking you but Noah doesn't appreciate violence. I suggest you keep your perfectly chapped lips shut before I break your face." Sam said as nicely as possible.

"Okay, gangsta's paradise" Finn laughed. "Merce? Where are you?"

Mercedes came out holding Noah. "Finn, go home. I'll call you in the morning."

Finn pointed to Sam. "I need to know who the jokester is. He's hilarious."

"I told you, my boyfriend."

Finn fixed his tie. "My parents want to meet Noah."

"Well, tough shit!" Mercedes yelled.

Sam frowned and walked over to Mercedes. He covered Noah's ears. "Mommy doesn't mean to curse, buddy. Bad day."

"_**Oh hey dad! Listen, I was thinking, maybe you can teach me how to make those cool car noises you were doing in the car! I can pick up some hot nurses like that!" **_

Finn looked at Sam with Jealousy and bit the inside of his cheek. "Stop acting like you're his father."

Sam whispered to Mercedes. "Bring the baby into the room. Finn and I are going to have a talk."

Mercedes's mouth dropped. She wanted to yell out profanities but little Noah couldn't hear any of that. She looked at Sam and he winked at her. She went back into the room.

Sam turned and looked at Finn. "Mercedes told me all about the two of you."

Finn scoffed. "So?"

"So…you're a fucking douche."

Sam looked at Finn up and down and added: "Now…LEAVE."

_**Ahh! This one was nice and long. What do you think so far? Next chapter has a little Finncedes flashback and a meeting with ex boyfriend/now best friend Blaine. **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I am so happy you're all enjoying this so much! I love reading your reviews! So as promised: Some finncedes and blainecedes!**_

"And then he left…" Sam said to Mercedes as he played with Noah.

_**Dad! You're so funny! Listen, I got a preposition for you. Me, you, and mom , we should go somewhere fancy tonight. Like that burger place we passed by on our way here. **_

"Just like that?" Mercedes asked incredulously.

"Yep! Mercedes, I didn't beat him up. He is Noah's dad after all. Trust me. He left. He said he'd call you later."

_**Noah? That's me! You're my dad, dad! **_

Mercedes started folding Noah's clothes.

"Oh. Well, thanks, Sam. I owe you. This is really great of you. To pretend to be my boyfriend and all."

Sam laughed. "Well, it's not like it's such a bad thing. You're kind of a catch!" Sam rocked Noah in his arms.

_**I'm not going to question you because I'm too tired. (yawns) I love you dad. I love you mom. Forever.**_

Mercedes smiled. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"How do you just say things and seem to not care?"

Sam gently placed Noah in the crib.

"Well, I'm too young to have regrets. Besides, it's the truth. You're a catch."

"You hardly know me." Mercedes placed a blanket over the baby. He was sound asleep.

"I'd like to change that." Sam said with a grin on his face.

Mercedes sighed and left the room. Sam followed.

"I'm sorry, Sam. You're really great and you've been such a great help. But, I'm not ready to get into the dating scene. I don't think I ever will be, to be honest." Mercedes threw herself on her couch.

Sam sat across from her.

"Well, missy, I wasn't really asking you out on a date!"

Mercedes arched her eyebrows. "Oh."

Sam laughed. "I mean, you're a catch like I said but I respect where you're coming from but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. And I'd like to help you with Noah. As much as I can. I really like him."

Mercedes giggled.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You like Noah? I think it's cute."

"Cute is my middle name!" Sam pretended to arrange a non-existent tie.

Mercedes covered her face. "You're such a dork, you know that?"

"Yes. I know a lot of things though. I know how to change a diaper, I know what makes Noah laugh, I know that you're really tired right now. I know that maybe I should draw you a bath and I know to be gentleman enough to sit here and wait for you to come out of the bathroom. I also know I'm insanely attracted to you but I'm willing to put that to the side to be your friend. And be Noah's friend. Because, even though we just met, I know you need a friend more than anything right now."

Mercedes was speechless.

"I also know you have an incredible voice. Even though you were high as a kite, you did sing with me to Noah."

Mercedes looked away and Sam knew he had struck a chord.

"Thanks." She whispered.

"Why aren't you winning Grammy's and signing my chest?" Sam asked as he took a seat next to her.

Mercedes laughed. "Because, this is the real world Sam. I'm really good at what I do."

Sam took her hand. "I bet you are. I'm a pretty damn good cab driver but I don't want to do it for the rest of my life."

Mercedes shook her head and smiled. "What the hell are you doing to me, Sam Evans?"

"Changing your life. I'll agree to be your fake boyfriend for as long as you want if you agree to let me help you."

Mercedes took back her hand. "Sam, I don't need help."

"I think you do."

"I'll hire a nanny."

Sam put his hands on her shoulder. "I'm not talking about that kind of help…think a little more on the personal level."

Mercedes looked up at his green eyes. "Personal?"

Sam smiled. "I can draw you that bath. And we can be really, really, good friends."

Sam leaned in.

The door slammed open.

"I will never go shopping with you again!" Kurt yelled dramatically. Mercedes stood up and fixed herself.

"Kurt? What is all of this?" Mercedes was looking at an agitated Kurt Hummel. He was carrying several bags of different colors. Blaine was right behind him carrying even more bags. Blaine was shaking his head and Mercedes tried her hardest not to laugh.

"I simply cannot with this man! He doesn't understand me!"

Kurt dropped the bags and walked into Mercedes' kitchen. "I need a mineral water."

"Fridge, bottom shelf." Mercedes kissed Blaine hello and took the bags from him.

"He's insane." He said softly.

"I heard that!" Kurt yelled from the kitchen.

Blaine shushed Kurt. "I'm sure the baby doesn't appreciate invasion of the fashion police."

"Look who's talking! Prada last season!"

"Hey! At least I'm wearing Prada! I was fine with my St. John's Bay!"

"Oh! Bite your tongue!"

Sam stood up and cleared his throat. The two men stopped arguing and Mercedes was covering her mouth, visibly amused by the banter.

Kurt looked over to Sam eyed him up and down. "And who is this fine specimen of a man?"

Blaine glared at Kurt and Mercedes couldn't help but laugh. "This is Sam. He's my friend."

Kurt held out his hand. "Hello. I'm Kurt. I'm a virgo, I love Barbara Streisand, walks on the beach and fine men's wear."

"And he's my boyfriend. Blaine, nice to meet you."

Sam smiled and greeted them both.

"Hi. I'm Sam. I'm a Taurus, I love Dr. Seuss and I like walks on the moon and hotdogs."

Kurt and Blaine arched their eyebrows silently.

"Sam is the guy I was telling you about." Mercedes said to both her friends.

Sam didn't know if he should be excited or nervous. Mercedes talked about him with her crazy friends. This was good right? And was this the Blaine she dated? Of course it is! How many Blaine's are there out there anyway?

Blaine put his arm around Mercedes and took her away from the group. He looked back.

"Give us a few minutes."

Kurt smiled at Sam and Sam smiled at Kurt.

"So…are you two fucking yet?"

Sam almost choked on his own spit.

()()()()()()()()()

"He wanted to buy him Gucci! He's a newborn for Godsakes!" Blaine rubbed his temples. "He's been so erratic lately!"

Mercedes took Blaine's hands down and rubbed his temples herself.

"You were always better at that than I was!" Blaine smiled. "I missed you, pretty girl."

"I missed you too. Don't mind Kurt. It's the Taylor Swift account. If I sign her, it means a huge bonus for him. He might make partner."

Blaine shot Mercedes a huge smile. "You're going to make my Kurt your partner?"

"Maybe."

Blaine hugged her. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Mercedes breathed in the familiar scent of Blaine Anderson. "You too."

Blaine broke the hug and cupped her chin. "I'm just glad we can be like this. I couldn't imagine my life without you."

Mercedes sighed. "No matter how crazy it makes us?"

Blaine bit his bottom lip. "If this were some crazy, parallel universe…"

"I know. But you're dating my best friend and assistant now. Sooo…how about we stop being so sappy and we go meet your Godson?"

Blaine took her hand. "Always knew the right things to say too…"

"So then I said, Betsy Johnson is a queen and you will bow down!" Kurt had his arm around Sam.

"Who's Betsy Johnson?" Sam asked and with that Mercedes pulled his hand. World War Three would erupt if she didn't take him away.

"Kurt? Why don't you go meet Noah? Blaine's already in there."

Kurt stood up and went into the nursery room.

"He's scary" Sam said happy that Mercedes pulled him away.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Maybe I should go. I have a few things to take care of. But I can stop by later?"

Mercedes smiled at Sam. "I'd like that. Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll pay you double what you make now if you take my offer."

Sam looked confused. "What offer?"

"I'd like you to be Noah's nanny…or many…" Mercedes laughed. "Please? You would be great."

Sam's heart fluttered. The idea of spending so much time with Noah pleased him. "I can't take money from you Mercedes."

"You must. It's only fair. You won't have to drive that cab anymore, I'll help you study, and you can help me with the baby. If you want to be a live in nanny, I have an extra bedroom. I'm hoping you say yes to that too…it would be easier for the both of us if you really think about it."

Sam's eyes widened. He'd never thought he'd live on this side of town. Mercedes Jones was really well off and unless it was for work, he never really stepped foot out here.

"Are you…sure?"

"Yes. It would mean the world to me. I won't have to interview people and I don't know what it is about you but I feel like I can trust you…"

Sam smiled and hugged Mercedes. He lifted her up and she laughed. "So…is that a yes?"

"Heck yes!"

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"_Heck yes!" Finn Hudson signed the contract on the three bedroom apartment. He answered the agent's question: "Are you two ready to be co-owners?" _

"_Finn, are you sure about this? It's not too much? Too soon? Remember, this was only supposed to be about me and my desire to have a baby. You don't have to do all of this." Mercedes rubbed her stomach. _

_Finn kissed her forehead. "Baby, I told you. I want this. I've always wanted this. I still can't believe you picked me." _

_The agent looked at them confused. "Well, congratulations! Here are your keys!" _

_Finn and Mercedes arrived at their luxury apartment. Finn placed the cans of paint on the floor and smiled. _

"_Look at it! It's ours! You and me, Merce. Finally." _

_Mercedes laughed and kissed Finn. _

"_I love, Finn." _

"_I love you too, Merce. Always have. I've been talking to mom and dad. They think it would be better for the baby if we just tied the knot. I mean, I want to marry you. I've wanted to since high school." _

_Mercedes took a step back. "Finn, what are you saying?" _

"_Marry me. I don't have a ring but I want you to come with me to Tiffany's tomorrow to pick one out. I want it all. I want us to be together. Forever." _

_Mercedes gulped. "Are you sure? Finn, don't do this because you feel like you have to? We can still raise a healthy baby." _

_Finn grabbed Mercedes' waist. "I'm sure." He leaned in and kissed her softly. _

"_Then…yes." Mercedes whispered. Finn smiled on his lips and picked Mercedes up. He wrapped her legs around his waist. _

"_Let's take a trip to the kitchen counter." He growled in her ear. _

_Mercedes giggled and the two filled the empty apartment with promises of forever. _

**_WE COULD OF HAD IT ALLLLL! lol reviewsssss are always welcome! ;) _**


	5. Chapter 5

_**What's up fanfic babies? How's it hanging? So I turn two months old! I know, I'm an old man! Soon, I'll be walking and shit. I can't. Just give me a moment while I try my best to hold on to two months. **_

"Noah! What's up little bro? High five!" Puck took Noah's tiny wrist and high fived it.

_**Hey! Uncle Puck! How's it hanging? Love the buzz! Finally got rid of that tail! Good, you look like a fool!**_

Baby Noah started laughing and Puck tickled his belly. "What a cute kid, Samson!" He sat next to Sam on the park bench and put his arm around him. "Too bad he isn't yours!"

Puck laughed at his own remark and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Well, Noah's my best friend, aren't you cutie?" Sam started talking baby talk and Puck and Noah stared at him with almost the same, confused expression.

_**Dad, you're scaring me. **_

"You need some ass." Puck said bluntly.

Sam covered Noah's ears. "Are you crazy? Mercedes and I have a strict 'no cursing" rule! It can ruin the baby's mojo!"

Puck ran his hand over his face. He was clearly frustrated with Sam. "The baby's mojo? Mercedes and I? What else do you and Mercedes have in order?" he asked him, only trying to humor his half-brother.

"No screaming, no cursing, no toys that are painted because you know, the paint can chip, no crazy organic stuff because Mercedes and I have come to the conclusion it's only a ploy to make money, no open windows in the baby room, no war movies while the baby is up and definitely no badly written shows."

Puck's jaw dropped. "No badly written shows?"

"Yeah. For example, no Glee. That show could traumatize baby Noah!"

Puck shook his head."SAMSON!" He grabbed Sam's shoulders. "YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND!" He shook Sam and Sam laughed.

"Relax, it's what's best for the baby!"

"He's not YOUR baby!"

"SO? I still love him!"

"And Mercedes?"

"What about her?"

"Do you love _her?" _

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. He grabbed the diaper bag next to him and started pushing the stroller.

"That's none of your business."

Puck walked after Sam. "Sure it is. You're my baby brother."

"By four months, bro." Sam said getting increasingly angry.

"Doesn't matter, still younger and I still want you to know that you're an idiot!"

"SHH! Not in front of Noah!"

"FINE! You're a…CANOLI!"

Sam stopped moving the stroller and pointed to Puck. "Then you're a…TWINKIE!"

Puck threw his hands up in frustration. "Oh really? Really? Well then you're a DING DONG!"

Sam scoffed as he walked faster. "Which only means you're a JELLY RING!"

_**All this talk is kind of making me hungry here. **_

"Cheese Doodle!"

"BAKED LAYS!" Sam retorted

"CORNFLAKE!"

"CREAAAMM OF WHEAT!" Sam yelled at the top of his lungs and stopped once he realized everyone was staring at him.

"You love her!" Puck said, still trying to push Sam's buttons.

"Fine! Whatever! I see her every day! I'm Noah's nanny! I have dinner with her, go to parenting classes with her, watching midnight movies while eating chocolate chip cookie dough with her! It's kind of hard not to fall in love with her!"

"What about that guy? Finn?" Puck asked his brother, lowering his tone.

"I don't know. He's Noah's dad. I'm not sure what that means for me…"

Sam frowned as he looked into the stroller. "Or for Noah."

"Have you seen Kurt?" Mercedes walked into her office, followed by her new assistant, Brittany.

Brittany started writing on her memo pad, pushing in her faux glasses. When she didn't answer, Mercedes turned around. "Ms. Pierce? I asked you a question? What are you writing? I didn't say anything."

Brittany sighed. "Right, yea. Umm, well, I scribble when I'm nervous." Brittany giggled and showed Mercedes her memo pad. It was full of cartoon unicorns. "Sorry."

Mercedes shook her head. "Why are you nervous, Ms. Pierce?"

"Because you're super good at what you do and you meet the coolest celebrities! You're like an icon!" Brittany beamed, completely in awe of Mercedes.

Mercedes smiled. "Brittany, do you want make your own contracts one day?"

Brittany nodded energetically. "Yes."

"Then you need to learn to relax. Don't be nervous. Okay?"

Brittany sighed out of relief. "Yes Ms. Jones."

"Call me Mercedes."

Brittany practically squealed. "Yes, Mercedes!"

"So, have you heard from Kurt at all today?" Mercedes asked as she reached for her jacket.

"Nope. He said he was going to see you later."

"Okay, Brittany, you may go. I'm calling this an early afternoon. I have a date!" Mercedes smiled as she buttoned her jacket.

"Oooo! Is he cute? Super model?" Brittany asked eagerly.

"He's cute but he's young." Mercedes smirked,

"Nothing wrong with young guys!" Brittany laughed, following Mercedes out of the office.

"He's my son." Mercedes laughed, pushing the button for the elevator.

"Sam!" Mercedes was waving from across the street. Sam shot her a huge smile and Puck shook his head at his smitten brother.

"Your head is stuck in the clouds!" Puck teased.

Sam smiled, waiting for the red light. "I like the view from up here."

He crossed the street and Mercedes was overjoyed. She looked into the stroller and kissed Noah.

"My sweet angel! I've missed you!" Mercedes cooed

_**Mommy! I have so much to tell you! Dad and I went to the park, we played with the other kids, I learned about dirt and I saw birds. Uncle Puck called dad a whole bunch of dessert items…How was your day?**_

"He missed you too!" Sam grinned and Puck kept shaking his head, trying his best not to laugh. Sam smacked Puck's stomach. "Dude!"

Mercedes looked up. "He did? Well, I hope he's ready to spend the rest of the afternoon with me and New York's most eligible bachelors!"

Puck winked at Mercedes and hugged her. "Hey lady."

"Hey. How's the best mechanic in Manhattan?" Mercedes asked.

"How about we don't make assumptions about my work until we see your new Chevy!" Puck said excitedly. "You're gonna love it, Mercedes!"

Mercedes smiled and cupped Sam's cheek. "Thank Sam, for introducing me to Puck. I owe you big!" Sam closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip.

"I know a way you can pay him back!" Puck teased.

Sam pretended to cough and punched Puck's arm. "He's a joker. He likes to joke around."

Mercedes shook her head and smiled. "Well, I got it covered." She looked into her pursed and pulled out two envelopes. She handed one to Puck and one to Sam.

"Mercedes, I can't take your money, I already said labor is on the house. After what you've done for Sam…" Puck tried handing the envelope back but Mercedes pushed it back onto his chest.

"Trust me. Open it. You too, Sam." Mercedes had such an excited expression that the two men had to follow through. They started opening the envelopes when both their jaws dropped.

"Holy!" Puck covered his mouth remembering the no curse rule.

Sam was in complete shock. He looked up to Mercedes and she winked at him. "What do you think?" She asked softly.

"These are premiere tickets to The Avengers!" Sam said happily. "How?"

"I know a guy!" Mercedes chuckled.

Puck pulled Mercedes in for a hug. "Is Chris Evans going to be there?"

Mercedes laughed. "Yes!"

"Oh God. I can't breathe!" Sam started fanning himself. "What will I wear?"

Mercedes giggled. "You guys are too cute."

Puck pulled out his phone. "I'm gonna have to raffle the other off to my lady friends. Let them fight for me for once."

Mercedes smiled and went back to playing with Noah. Sam tapped her back and she looked up. "Yeah?"

"Who's going to watch Noah?"

Mercedes looked confused. "Me, silly. I'm giving you the night off."

Sam swallowed hard. It was now or never, he thought. "Negative. Because you'll be coming with me, as my date."

Mercedes opened her apartment door and was followed by Sam and Puck.

"SURPRISE!"

Kurt, Blaine, Santana, and Quinn shot up.

Mercedes was confused. She looked around to see the house decorated in streamers.

"What's going on?" Mercedes asked.

Blaine bought out a cake and winked at her. "Happy 2 months, baby Noah!"

Sam put his arm around Mercedes and Puck arched his eyebrows at Quinn and Santana.

Sam leaned in. "Don't know about Quinn but Santana is no game, trust me." Sam waved at the two women and they waved back.

Mercedes looked at the chocolate cake before her. "Happy two months, Noah…what does that say?" Mercedes pointed two the smaller writing on the cake.

Kurt jumped up and down. "Read it closely."

Mercedes looked closer. "And congratulations, Kurt for getting the Swift account! KURT!"

Mercedes hugged her former assistant.

"Thank you for making me partner before getting it."

"You had this in the bag, Kurt!"

"Okay enough of this vomit inducing crap. Let's eat cake!"

Sam and Mercedes frowned. "SANTANA! The baby is here!" They both said in unison and smiled at each other.

_**Helloooo ladies! There's enough of baby Noah to go around!" **_

Santana rolled her eyes as she picked up the baby. "In my house we cursed all the time, look how fine I came out."

"Mmm, fine is not the word!" Puck licked his lips.

Santana held up her finger. "Uh. NO!"

Puck rolled his eyes and made his way to the blonde beauty standing next to Santana.

"Oh. Hello there. Come here often?"

Quinn laughed at Puck's attempt. "To Mercedes' living room? Yeah, I'm a frequent customer."

Mercedes looked around and smiled. Blaine was cutting the cake, Kurt was pouring the drinks, Puck was macking it to her two friends and Sam was the best decision she ever made. She couldn't be happier.

"So…Are you going to help me find an outfit for the premiere, date?" Sam winked at Mercedes and she couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're insane, Sam Evans."

"I've heard this many times." Sam kissed Mercedes' cheek.

Mercedes smiled and looked at Sam. What was this man doing to her?

"Your phone is ringing" Sam said softly. Mercedes snapped out of her daze and took her cell phone out.

"Hello?"

"Mercedes? It's Carole. I'm in town for a few weeks and I really would love to see my grandson and you of course! We should do lunch, dear. We have so much to catch up on!"

Mercedes wished she didn't pick up her phone. "Hi Carole. Sure. I'd like that."

"Great. It will be like old times, Me, you, and _Finn_!"

Carole hung up and Mercedes groaned. "Fuck me!"

Sam's eyes widened. He leaned in. "As sexy as that sounds coming out of your mouth, no curse rule is still in effect."

Mercedes buried her head into Sam's chest and he was taken aback by her behavior. He wrapped his arm around her as she started to cry out of anger.

**A/N: This is completely AU so Quinn, Santana, and Puck just met. Kurt and Finn are NOT half brothers. ;) Reviews are everything! **


	6. Chapter 6

_**Mom decided it would be funny to let me watch Housewives of New Jersey and I was not amuzed. I mean, seriously, what kind of doodoo is that? And here's my poor, beautiful mother, changing my smelly diaper and dealing with my insane dad instead of making all that money on a reality t.v. show. It's a cruel world out there, guys, a cruel, cruel, world. **_

_**On another note, daddy painted my room lime green. I mean, who does that? Lime green? Dad? Are you nuts? All I can think about is Kermit the Frog and my dad does the worst impression! To top it all off, Uncle Puck got me a stuffed clown. A clown! I hate clowns! Ugh! Ever feel like you're the smartest person in the room? I mean, aside from mom, I'm a genius! Seriously, it's not easy being green? Try being 2 months old and having an uncle that shaves his own Mohawk and dances around in his underwear when mom isn't home! **_

"Sam!" Mercedes giggled as she held the cucumbers over her eyes. "This isn't working! I don't feel distressed!"

"I believe you're laughing. First sign of distressing!" Sam peeked under one cucumber and looked over to Mercedes. She was lying next to him on her bed. Quinn and Puck had taken Noah out to the park and it was just the two of them.

"Tell me again what to do all mighty guru!" Mercedes laughed.

"Okay, so you meet with Carole and Finn, tell them they're douchebags and then bounce and meet me, Puck, and Quinn at the Avengers premiere. Simple." Sam said in such a serious tone, Mercedes couldn't help but remove her cucumbers and side eye him.

"Sam Evans, I can't do that. He's the father of my son!"

"Who happens to be a complete tool!"

"Sam!"  
Your words, not mine!"

"I really have to be careful what I tell you!" Mercedes threw the cucumbers at Sam and he jumped up.

"Oh no, Miss Jones, you will not get away with that!"

Sam stood up and Mercedes slipped her feet into her slippers. She knew where this was going. She ran outside of the room and giggled as she looked for a place where Sam couldn't find her. Sam peeked outside the room and looked to his left and then to his right.

"Give up, tiny human, I will find you and you will be mine!"

"NEVER!" Mercedes screamed from behind her couch.

"AH HAH! I believe I have cornered you and now you must give up some of your booty!"

Mercedes looked up to Sam. He was towering over her and she was hiding behind her couch.  
"Excuse you?"

Sam sighed and extended his hand to Mercedes. "Your pirate booty, silly." Mercedes took his hand and he lifted her up. The two stood before each other and stared into each other's eyes.

"Sam…maybe we shouldn't…" Mercedes whispered as Sam rubbed her arms.

"Shouldn't? Stare into each other's eyes?" Sam whispered, grinning at Mercedes. She wanted to punch him.

"Shouldn't…do this…it will end up really messy..."

"I happen to like messy." Sam nuzzled her neck and Mercedes gasped at the sudden change in pace.

"I don't think you mean that." She said trying her best not to give in.

"I just don't understand how can't like root beer!" Puck said as he opened the front door.

Mercedes and Sam separated quickly and began to adjust the pillows on the couch.

"I just think it tastes gross!" Quinn smiled, pushing Noah's stroller. "Noah agrees with me!"

_**I'm going to be straight up witchu, you're hot an all but I have no idea what root beer is.**_

"You guys are back early!" Sam exclaimed, trying not to sound disappointed.

"Yep! Well, the park got crowded and Noah is ready for his afternoon nap!" Quinn tickled Noah's tummy.

_**That sound good right about now!**_

"Thanks guys! I really appreciate all your help!" Mercedes picked Noah up and kisses his forehead. "I missed you little guy!"

_**The feeling is mutual, mommy. Uncle Puck and Aunt Quinn are pretty cool but they can't be trusted . They don't know any of the songs you and daddy sing to me. **_

"Let me get him. I'll take him to his room. You have a lunch to get ready for." Sam winked at Mercedes and Mercedes felt a knot in her stomach. She was not looking forward to meeting up with her almost mother in law and almost husband. Puck followed Sam into the room and Quinn smiled at Mercedes mischievously.

Mercedes shook her head and laughed. "Do not tell me you and Puckerman are a thing!"

"Well, I don't know yet but he asked me to the premiere tonight. Are you going?" Quinn threw herself on Mercedes' couch.

"Yes, well, if Carole doesn't kill me from a headache!" Mercedes sat across from Quinn and hugged a pillow. "I don't wanna go!" She whined childishly and Quinn laughed at her friend's behavior.

"What a baby!"

"Oh hush you have no idea how bad this is!" Mercedes buried her head in the pillow and shrieked.

"Carole is harmless!" Quinn walked over to Mercedes and sat beside her. "And so is Finn" she added softly.

"Don't take his side!"

"Oh come on, he isn't!"

"He cheated on me!"

"People make mistakes! Is he even seeing her?" Quinn asked .

"I don't know, I don't care."

"Well, you should care! He's Noah's dad!"

"He's nothing but a sperm donation! That hardly makes him a dad!"

"So you're not going to give Noah the right to meet his dad? That's a little selfish Mercedes!"

"Quinn! I can't believe you're doing this! Noah doesn't need Finn in his life if he's going to be an asshole!"

"Finn has done nothing but try to be in his life since he was born! DO you know he visited the nursery every morning and watched Noah? Just stood there and watched him!"

"He did?" Mercedes looked up from her pillow.

"Yes. He loves that baby."

" I don't know about that yet. He has a lot to prove to me."

"Fair enough. Just go to the luncheon with an open mind. I went out with Puck with an open mind!"

Mercedes looked into the nursery room from the couch and smiled.

"Unless your decisions are being swayed by blonde taxi driver slash college student?" Quinn teased Mercedes.

"Don't be ridiculous, Quinn."

"Just be careful. Sam's a great guy and all but you have to do what's right for Noah." Quinn grabbed her hand and smiled. "Okay?"

Mercedes nodded her head. "Well, I guess I have to raid that closet of mine."

"Right behind yah, sister" Quinn followed Mercedes into her room.

{ }

"She practically the perfect girl. I mean except for the whole not liking root beer thing. I mean, who does that?"

"Mmm hmm…" Sam watched Noah as he slept.

"And then big foot and I got married in Vegas and I gave birth to triplets."

"That's nice."

"I also discovered the cure for stupidity. It's called 'smack in yo face'"

"Sounds Brilliant." Sam sighed, resting his hand on his cheek as he rocked himself back and forth in the rocking chair.

"And then I sold all your comics for a bag of magic beans." Puck bowed his head to meet his brother's.

"I like beans…" Sam trailed off.

"Oh what the hell?"

"CURSE WORD!" Sam whispered loudly! "The most impressionable moments in a baby's life are during his sleep!"

"What has gotten into you?" Puck leaned one hand against the wall.

"I'm totally in love with Mercedes. And I'm going to tell her tonight."

"Sam, I don't know if that's a good idea. Being Noah's nanny is awesome. You're making good money, you have a place to stay and you're going to school. Don't ruin that because your hormones are taking the best of you!"

"I swear this is the real thing, Puck. She's so perfect. She's smart and hilarious."

"She's hilarious? She seems kind of serious. I mean, she has her moments but hilarious?"

"Yes! See? She's only like that around me! We share this bond! It's beyond Noah. It's like…I want to be Noah's dad but I also want to be Mercedes'…everything. You know?"

"No clue dude. Never been in love."

"Never say never, Puckerman. Besides, Quinn Fabray seems to be really into you."

"Can you blame her?" Puck kissed his muscles and Sam rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to tell her. Tonight." Sam bit his bottom lip and placed his hand over Noah's head. "Then we can be a family."

"Oh boy, you've lost it."

{ }

"Mercedes! Over here sweetheart!" Carole stood up and waved from her seat.

Mercedes closed her eyes and exhaled. "You got this Jones. You are a strong woman. You can do this."

She walked over to the table and noticed Finn sitting beside his mother. He placed his napkin on the table and stood up. He always had great manners.

"Mercedes, you look…"

"Famished. Have you been eating, dear? I know they have you working long hours but you need to take care of yourself!" Carole pinched Mercedes' cheeks. "There now you have some color."

Mercedes smiled faintly and noticed the embarrassed look on Finn's face. She smirked and he smirked back.

"I was going for beautiful. Where's Noah?" Finn looked around and frowned when he realized his son wasn't with Mercedes. Mercedes felt guilty.

"He's home. With Sam. He's really tired but I was thinking maybe you guys can come by this weekend? I'll cook." Mercedes sat across Finn and Carole and placed her napkin on her lap.

"Sounds like a lovely idea!" Carole said excitedly. "You must invite your parents! And who is this Sam fellow?"

Finn cleared his throat as he downed the moscato in his glass. "Sorry, went down the wrong pipe. Sam is the nanny, mom. He seems like a good guy." Finn looked into his glass and when he realized it was empty, he called for the waiter.

"Honey, that's your fourth glass." Carole lowered Finn's arm.

Mercedes started playing with the napkin on her lap to avoid the awkwardness that was already beginning. This is what Carole did, she tried to make a robot out of Finn and it was a sore spot for her. Finn was a big boy and she knew he was tired of his mother marking his every move.

"Mother, it's my fifth glass and since I'll be paying for today's lunch, I believe I'm entitled to my sixth. Right, Mercedes?" Finn winked at Mercedes and she looked at Carole.

"Noah's really smart. He's so alert."

"So he takes after you, darling." Carole grabbed Mercedes' hand and Mercedes looked over to Finn.

"Well, he has a lot of Finn's qualities. His eyes for example."

Finn looked over to Mercedes.

"Oh?" Carole asked. "Tell me more about my grandson."

"He's very demanding. He knows what he wants and he goes after it!" Mercedes laughed. "He already commands the attention in a room."

"He's regal, my son. Like his mother." Finn re arranged his tie and Mercedes smiled faintly.

"Please excuse me for one bit. I just want to make sure Noah gets his bottle." Mercedes stood up and walked away.

She didn't notice Finn was following her until she turned around. "You scared the living crap out of me, Finn!"

"Noah is fine. As much as I hate to admit it, Sam is a great nanny."

"I just need some fresh air."

Finn looked around. "So let's go outside." Finn grabbed her hand and the two walked outside.

"Carole means well but she's so suffocating!"

"I know. I need a cigarette!" Finn shuffled around in his jacket pocket.

Mercedes took his hands. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for a smoke." Finn said nonchalantly.

"I thought you quit." Mercedes said sternly.

"I did. I always keep on or two on me in case I lose it and my mother being in town is the perfect excise to start up again."

"Finn, you quitting was a big deal. I thought you didn't want to go back!"

"Why do you care?" Finn yelled and Mercedes lowered her hands.

"Wow. Well, for one your Noah's dad and I don't think you liked yourself very much when you smoke. And six glasses? Really? "

"Oh don't get preachy with me!" Finn pulled the cigarette out and placed it in his mouth.

Mercedes couldn't believe her eyes. She took the cigarette and threw it on the floor. "Don't be an asshole Finn Hudson!"

"Why the heck not? Let's see, my mother is trying to ruin my life, my job is stressing me out, I can't see my son and the woman I love doesn't even know I'm alive."

"Rachel knows you're alive."

"WHAT?" Finn threw his hands up. "I can't believe this. You think I'm still stuck on Rachel?"

"Uh…yeah." Mercedes placed her hands on her hips. "Aren't you?"

"Not since Noah was born. I'm a new man and I want to be a good daddy, Mercedes. I swear it."

Mercedes as speechless. Suddenly, her phone buzzed. She looked to find a text from Sam.

"**Santana is down to watch Noah tonight! Avengers Assemble! Chris Evans is gonna love me right? Noah says hi! He pooped like three times. Is Finn a pooper?" **

Mercedes laughed and shook her head.

"But you're in love with someone else, aren't you?"

Mercedes looked up and saw a hurt Finn before her.

"I…I don't know. We should go back inside." Mercedes didn't know what was going on but she knew she didn't need Finn Hudson back in her life again. She didn't need his sweet words, she didn't need his brown eyes, and she sure as heck did not need a new set of broken promises.


	7. Chapter 7

**ahh sorry it took so long to update but my mom's been driving me crazy. I have gymboree and then I have mommy and me and then Uncle Puck has been showing me how to play guitar even though I don't think he gets the fact that I can't even talk! grr! Anyway! Thanks for sticking around! **

**Love, **

**Noah**

**A/N: Still don't own Glee. Still not rich. SOON! **

Mercedes jiggled the keys in the door and walked in to find Noah sleeping on Sam, with the television on. She smiled at the tender view and noticed the two new pieces of mail on her counter top. Sliding off her heels, Mercedes threw herself on the empty couch across from Noah and Sam and she inspected the mail. She rolled her eyes and when she realized the first was another bill from the hospital. Although she was pretty well off, it was still difficult managing. She threw the bill on her coffee table and looked at the other letter. The return address was from Midway rehabilitation center. She was very familiar with the place since she passed it every day on her way to work. Mercedes was confused as to why she was getting mail from them and was about to open the letter when she noticed it was addressed to "Mr. James Evans. C/O Sam Evans." Just then, Sam opened his eyes and smiled. "Hey", he whispered. "Sorry, we fell asleep."

"Who's James Evans?" Mercedes asked Sam, placing the letter on the coffee table and slowly standing up to carry Noah into the nursery room.

"Oh? We got a letter? Quinn must have placed it on the counter when she came in with Puck." Sam took the letter from the coffee table and started opening it. "Mercedes, now that Noah's asleep, I was hoping we can talk."

Mercedes walked back into the living room and sat on the couch. "Sam, you didn't answer my question."

Sam was too focused on the letter to look up.

"Sam?"

"Hmm…hold on, Mercedes." Sam mouthed the words in the letter and when it seemed like he was finished, he smiled and hugged the piece of paper. "This is the best news; I've gotten in a long time."

Mercedes arched her eyebrows and stared at Sam, not knowing how to react. "What's the letter about?"

Sam walked over to Mercedes looked at her in the eyes and gently knelt before her. "My father is James Evans, Mercedes. He had a stroke 8 months ago and lost all motor skills. He was in a rehabilitation center out in the Bronx and we weren't seeing any change. My mother passed away a few years ago from breast cancer and my dad really needed my help. They wouldn't transfer him to a better facility and when I moved in here, I thought about using your address. They accepted him. He's getting the transfer on Monday!" Sam smiled, scanning Mercedes' face for a reaction. "I know, you're mad at me for using your address and I'm really sorry but I was desperate."

Mercedes' face softened and she ran her hand through Sam's head. "I just wish you would have told me Sam. You're more than just Noah's nanny. You've quickly become my best friend. I would have helped you either way. But, you didn't move in just so you can use the address, did you?"

Sam closed his eyes as he felt Mercedes' touch and shook his head. "I would never do that to you. I would never take advantage of you Mercedes. Ever."

Mercedes believed him and pulled him in for a hug. "I'm here to help, Sam. That's what friends are for."

Sam gripped her tighter and sighed. "About that…"

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "We need to talk, Mercedes."

Mercedes moved over so Sam could sit next to her. "I've been thinking a lot about Noah. About you. About this place." Sam looked around. "Are you happy?"

Mercedes smiled and grabbed Sam's hands. "Of course I'm happy, Sam. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I know you Mercedes. I've been here for three months but I know you. I know everything about you. I know what makes you tick. I know you hate grape jelly on your peanut butter jelly sandwiches, I know that Japanese blossoms is your favorite scent, and I know that you're not happy."

"Why are you telling me all this, Sam?

Sam breathed in and exhaled slowly.

"I love you. And I'm so tired of keeping it hidden. I love you and I love Noah and I knew maybe it's too soon now but eventually we can turn this little arrangement we have into a real family."

**_OH GOD IT HURTS! IM BURNING! WHATS GOING ON? MOM? DAD? HELP!" _**

Sam and Mercedes both ran into the nursery room when they heard Noah crying.

"He's probably hungry." Mercedes said as she picked Noah up.

Sam nodded his head and ran into the kitchen.

"Oh MY GOD!" Mercedes yelled.

Sam dropped the bottle he was about to prepare and ran back into the room. "What's up? What happened? Mercedes?"

Mercedes had her cheek to Noah's forehead. He's burning up. He has a fever. We need to take him to the doctor, Sam."

"Right." Sam rushed to get Noah's baby bag together and grabbed the keys from the table. He started leaving when he heard Mercedes call.

"Sam! You kind of need me and Noah!"

Sam face palmed and walked back inside. "Right!"

He went into the room and helped Mercedes get Noah dressed.

**_I feel kinda funny. You guys look really funny. Mom? Why do you have 8 eyes? Dad? Why are you blue? You look like those guys in the movie you always watch…my stomach is feeling kinda…_**

"Oh my God! Noah! Baby! What's wrong?" Mercedes asked Noah as she wiped her tears. Sam realized Mercedes was getting stressed and he took matters in his own hands. He grabbed some baby wipes and started to wipe down the vomit on the changing pad.

"It's okay 'Cedes. It's just baby vomit. He's fine. It's probably an infection. He'll be okay." Sam cleaned Noah and Mercedes broke down.

"I just don't know what I'd do if he were sick." Mercedes sniffled.

"He's fine, babe." Sam said so naturally, Mercedes didn't question it.

**_I'm just gonna fall asleep now, dad_**

Noah closed his eyes, clenched his tiny fists and fell asleep on Sam's shoulder.

"He really loves you." Mercedes said softly.

Sam grinned and winked at his boss. "Well, the feeling is kinda mutual."

The three of them their way out the door and rushed to Noah's pediatrician.

00000000

"Is he okay?" Sam asked the doctor who was trying to examine Noah.

"For the fourth time Sam, that's why I'm trying to figure out."

Mercedes pulled Sam into the seat next to her. "I know you're nervous but you're making me nervous and it's not helping." Mercedes whispered.

Sam nodded his head and remained quiet.

"Okay, well looks like baby Noah has a bit of an ear infection." The Dr. finally reported back as he took he handed Noah over to Mercedes.

"My poor baby." Mercedes pouted and kissed the baby's forehead.

**_I'm dying mom. I'm dying a slow death. You can have Mr. Binky and dad can have my Elmo building blocks. It's alright. I'm ready to go. _**

"I'm going to prescribe something that will help with the fever. I'm just going to need you to monitor him for the rest of the night. If it gets any worse, you have to take him to the emergency room."

The door wrote the script and handed it to Sam. "Thank you for being patient" the Dr. teased.

Sam nodded his head and helped Mercedes carry the baby bag.

The both exited the building and started walking towards the car.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I guess, you're going alone to the Avenger's screening."

Mercedes placed a sleeping Noah into his car seat and went over to the driver's seat.

Sam sat next to Noah in the back seat and arched his eyebrows at Mercedes.

"Uh, no ma'am. I'm not going."

Mercedes started the engine and looked at Sam through her rearview mirror and chuckled.

"Sam! You have to go! It's the Avengers! Chris Evans is going to be there!"

"I can't. I'm not going. I'm staying with you and Noah. _We_ have to take turns, monitoring him.

Mercedes realized she was fighting a losing battle. She continued driving quietly until she reached a red light.

"Thank you Sam. I owe you so much for this."

Sam smiled. "Just promise me you'll have the talk with me soon."

She nodded and continued driving. Mercedes knew the talk was coming but she wasn't sure if she was prepared. Sure, Sam was amazing and Noah adored him but was this person that was meant to be in her life? Was he going to be a good dad for Noah? A good example? Was she falling in love with Sam Evans? Her head was turning from all the questions. Finally, Mercedes decided it was time to shut off. She wasn't going to do to this to herself tonight. Tonight, she'd watch over Noah. It just happened to be the same night she'd be watching him with Sam. No biggie. Right?

Mercedes and Sam walked into the house, exhausted from the long day they had so far. Sam had called Puck to tell him he had two more tickets available for the screening and of course Puck jumped at the opportunity to get Santana and her friend to go. Mercedes gave Noah his medicine and gently laid him down in his crib. Sam walked up behind her and started massaging her shoulders.

"We can talk when Noah is better. No rush, okay?" Sam whispered.

Mercedes turned around and looked into Sam's green eyes. "I don't know how to rush when I'm with you, Sam."

Sam blushed at her comment and began to speak when Mercedes wrapped her arms around his neck and started to kiss him. It was everything he thought it would be. Her lips were soft and smooth, her mouth warm and tender. Sam wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. The two continued until Mercedes' phone rang.

"Don't get it" Sam whispered.

Mercedes looked at her phone and rolled her eyes. "I have to. It's Finn."

Sam nodded his head in agreement and Mercedes put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey 'Cedes. It's me Finn."

"I know, Finn."

"Listen, I've been having this bad feeling all day. Like something was wrong. I hate to bother you but is everything okay? With our son?"

Mercedes paused and felt the guilt rush over her.

"He's got an infection. He's fine. He was running a fever. I didn't want to bother you. I'm watching him now."

"Mercedes! Why didn't you tell me? I knew something was wrong! Do you need anything? I'll be right over! I can bring anything you need."

"Finn…Finn…I'm okay. Trust me. It's getting late and I need to make dinner. You can come by tomorrow. Promise. We can catch up. Okay?"

Mercedes heard the sadness in Finn's tone.

"Okay. I'll call you in the morning."

Mercedes hung up her phone and looked up to Sam.

"Everything okay?" He asked

"Fine. Everything's fine. Just a lot of questions in my head, Sam. Maybe we should talk this over with a clearer head. Want to help me make dinner while Noah sleeps?"

Mercedes walked into the kitchen and Sam took a deep breath. Finn Hudson was going to be his biggest challenge.


End file.
